


In absentia

by yareyareshii



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-13 18:21:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29530482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yareyareshii/pseuds/yareyareshii
Summary: When he realizes his love for her in her absence, in absentia.
Kudos: 2





	In absentia

**Author's Note:**

> hI HI HI HELLO Before i start, please pardon my english and writing style. I originally wrote this in wattpad last year but it got deleted yesterday. Sis why istg my stories in wt are pg 13.

"I love you!" The ravenette confessed with a red face as the sun was setting, the orange rays hitting her face perfectly.

The tall male looked at the girl with pity in his eyes. He indeed is In love with the female.

however, he still has to keep his promise to her sister as she was the one who helped him when his eyes were damaged, making him blind.

The male couldn't understand the female's intention upon confessing, she knows that the male is in love with her sister so why was she confessing to the male when she knew that she'll be rejected?

"I-I'm... I'm sorry. It's just that your sister is- Besides, tomorrow will be her operation and she'll be able to see again. Get some rest, you'll need it." The male I surely stated as he walked away quietly from the heartbroken female.

He should wait for her, just like how she waited for him when they were kids. He shouldn't and couldn't just possibly leave her after everything she had taught him.

He sighed as he recalled how dark his previous days were; both literally and figuratively.

At the age of 3, he became blind. Not because of an accident but because of how his mother has cared for him when he was in her womb.

After becoming blind, he wasn't able to move or do anything at all. His ears were the only thing he depended his life on, following sounds and differentiating it.

Until she came with her guitar and sang softly at the frightened male. After the encounter, both of them has been inseparable.

Then the time came when he already secured an eye donor. He remembered how she had repeatedly visited his ward with her usual guitar and singing voice.

After being able to see again, he finally saw her; the girl who he believed to be beside him. She then introduced her younger sister, the shy female who was at the back.

He should repay her back, for showing what life truly is to him at a very young age. She was his unexpected savior, his anchor if he ever finds life too fast.

Everything was well when the news reached him; she was involved in an accident and her weak heart is now weaker than ever, not to mention her eyes also were damaged badly.

Luckily, they were able to secure a heart and eye donor within a week. The identity of the donor was unknown, but it wasn't that important to him anyways.

What's important is that she'll be able to recover quickly than he did when he was a kid. He was so thankful that she'll be fine in just a few weeks after her accident.

The ravenette's confession was now out of his head as he walked towards his house, wanting to rest as soon as he could.

———

The tall male stared at the last place he's seen her. Ever since that day, she had been avoiding him by not going to school and pretending to sleep when he had visited their house or when she answers his calls, she'll just say hi then make a lame excuse to drop the call.

The maids were unusually quiet every time he visits her, she must've spilled the beans about her getting rejected because of her bed ridden sister.

He was lonely, he missed her.

The next day, he decided to visit the hospital since she was already conscious as of yesterday but he had classes so he had to wait for a day to fully visit her.

"S-suna? I-I'm glad you're here...." she managed to spat out despite her struggle.

'She was crying...' the male thought as he heard the female sniff once again and rub her eyes gently to wipe away her tears.

'She must've been crying because she's grateful for her donor.' He thought once again as he sat beside her.

"I'm glad you're okay. Tell me if you feel anything on your chest okay?" The male smiled gently as he patted her head, making the female sneer at the male.

"suna, you know I hate it when you do that." She irritatedly growled, startling the male. She was just very weak when he entered the room and now it looked like she was back to normal.

The male smiled gently once again before grabbing her jaw lightly so she could face him.

The male quickly removed his hand from her jaw as he felt shivers running upon his spine at the sight of the new eyes she possessed.

It felt familiar and it just brought back memories upon seeing those pitch black eyes. It felt and looked empty, unlike when he was with her sister that had the similar eye color.

No, he shouldn't just think about her sister when she was beside him, happily recovering. But then again, he loved her sister more than her, however he has a debt to repay.

"Hey suna...? W-what do you think of my sister?" She asked nervously upon looking away from his intense gaze.

"U-uh... she's very quiet yet chaotic when it's just the two of us. Sh-she's also a dependable person, very pretty too. Don't tell her I've said any of these, we're on a fight and she's not picking up-"

he stopped when she began crying once again, wailing even. he panicked when he realized what he had said; it was like confessing his feeling for her sister indirectly.

'No, I've got to stop this. This isn't right, I have to repay her. Until then, I'll have to keep my true feelings bottled up inside of me.'

"Y-you... you- YOU DON'T HAVE TO STAY WITH ME!" She bursted out with an ashamed expression, it was as if she did something bad that could make the male's heart break.

"Huh? Wha-"

"It wasn't me, it was her all along.... she was the one who helped you through your pain. S-she begged me to take her place because she thought she wasn't pretty enough for you." The female confessed quickly before hiding her face once again.

The male began to frown. "If this is about me rejecting her, I swear. Did she threaten you in a way? I will kill her. She shouldn't do petty things-"

He stopped because of the stinging sensation on his right cheek; she had slapped him. He looked at the girl, dumbfounded.

'Why was she defending her? And why the hell would she lie about something like that? ' the male thought angrily as he cracked his knuckles.

"Are you stupid?! Why do you think I refuse to sing? It's because I sing ridiculously. Why don't I play a guitar? It's because I don't have one. Are you fine or are you just naturally a dumb person?" She spatted out as she fumed with anger.

"Respect her, I thought she was your best friend? " the female once again spatted out as she sighed heavily. It stressed her, how the male was so dense.

The male stopped. It indeed made much more sense of being her as his savior than it did than the older female. It just explained how she refuses to perform around him.

However, he couldn't understand why she had decided to hide her identity and play Cupid for the people around her.

he refused to believe.

his mind is now a mess, unable to process the truth about his past.

he felt stupid.

he felt mad.

his life felt fake.

"Where is she?" The male managed to say as he slowly stood up, looking away from the older girl beside him.

he needed proof.

he needed things that can prove if it was really her who helped him.

however, for him it did not make any sense.

why would the girl lie?

was it because she wanted to run away from him?

but if she wanted to run away, why would she befriend him?

nothing made sense.

it all felt fake.

and he felt like he needed to save the savior from the misery she is in.

he needed her.

he needed her in his life.

it did not matter even if she still hated him.

he needed the truth.

"She's my savior, suna.... she was the one who donated...."

it has been a week after the male had learned of the truth.

her sister, true to her words did prove the points she had made upon their argument when he had visited her to make sure she was fine.

the tall male hugged her pillow tightly, her scent reaching his nose.

her parents allowed him to explore their younger daughter's room since everyone pretty much knew of the truth.

they all knew yet they did not even tried to tell the male.

however, it was her decision, they had to respect it.

the male was about to doze off when he felt something under the bedsheet.

Curiosity filled his head as he pushed himself to check it out.

he was very tired after looking around her room, only to find nothing.

with a groan, he began to remove the bed sheet and was surprised to find a piece of paper.

he felt stupid once again.

he did not think of looking under her bed.

he quickly then opened the folded paper, only to see a letter.

august 07, 2020

rintarou,

i confessed to you today, did you remember? i bet you don't. you must be worried for my sister since she was in an accident, i am too. she has a weak heart while i had the weak lungs.

i love you, remember that. it's okay if you didn't love me back, but i want you to be happy. don't mind me, i'll always be beside you, watching as you achieve your dreams and be showered with happiness. the happiness i can't give you.

by now, they must've told you already about the things that truly happend back then. are you mad? i'm sorry. i couldn't handle the fact that you might be dissapointed with how i look. don't be mad at my sister, it was me who begged her to do it. besides, the doctor told me i don't have enough time and i knew it would make you feel sad. and eventually, both of you fell inlove with each other.

i know it is kinda selfish for me to say this but please don't forget me. it's okay if you get sad and down because of my sudden passing but please promise me that you'll always pick yourself up after that. i'm no longer with you physically but always believe i am watching over you.

i'm sorry for avoiding you. it was just that everytime i am beside you, my breathing is irregular and it is bad for my damaged lungs. oh by the way, tell my mom that i don't blame her for my condition. tell her i love her too, i just had a hard time showing her that.

i wish you all the best, my love. be happy, live without regrets. leave everything behind and do what you truly desire and be happy with it. cherish her, don't break her heart.

remember the last time you've walked me home? the day after her accident? i already knew it was our last walk together. i knew, that's why i complained about you walking so fast with those freaking long legs of yours. however, you were mad at me that day because you claimed that i didn't tell you about my sister's accident when i texted you at 5 in the morning.

i knew it was our last walk together and wished you would walk slower to match my pace, but you did not.

but atleast we were together right? i'm already crying so much and the letter's too long already.

adios, my love. i'll see you on the other side.

p.s. when you have kids already, i swear do not even dare to tell and brag to them how his best friend was so inlove with him until her last days. i swear suna, if you dare do that, just always remember i am around you ;)

"rintarou? your mom came to pick you up. she said you haven't been home for 3 days already." the old woman called out as she entered her beloved child's room, nostalgia hitting her terribly.

she looked over and saw the tall male with tears flowing from his eyes, he was holding a letter that she assumed that her daughter made. she felt extremely sad once again, it was her child that died for her first daughter anyways.

everybody missed the quiet ravenette. when she was around, all they did was argue or her scold her, not thinking that the ravenette's time was also limited like her sister's. they thought that the older sister's condition was worse than hers when in reality hers were the worst.

the male looked up to the old woman before nodding silently, harshly wiping his tears away while clutching the letter she wrote for him.

the old woman was stunned, the male was crying. she thought that he wouldn't shed a single tear for her daughter because he acted like he usually would during the days he was in her daughter's room.

the male picked himself up, just like what she had told him.

he had to, he has to follow her last wishes.

\---

ten years passed in a blur.

the male was now a pulmonologist, a great one to be exact.

after reading her letter, he decided to keep going with life.

sure, there were times he almost gave up on life, but he picked himself up. he picked himself up and thought of her as an inspiration, an inspiration to keep going so nobody would be able to expirienced the things he had.

his and her sister's relationship grew from worse to nothing. she however, admitted that she only saw him as a younger brother, suna agreed also. many things were realized by him after reading her letter. and one of those many things were that he loved her sister as an older sister.

who he truly loved was her. it was still her until today, and he hasn't felt anything he has felt when he was with her ever since.

"Doctor, my teacher asked me to ask anyone what was their biggest regret. could you tell me yours?" the kid who he had been checking up on suddenly asked.

the male smiled softly as he caressed the kid's hair. his locks were growing thin already because of his chemotherapy. the kid's parents hired a private tutor to somehow teach him the way the world works even if his time is very short.

"it's not being able to eat breakfast today!" the doctor joked as he ruffled the child's soft locks. the child giggled, being satisfied with his doctor's answer.

however, the question the child had asked the doctor, made the doctor sentimental as he rushed back to his memory lane.

regrets.

what was the biggest regret he had?

was it when he ate his best friend's onigiri every morning secretly and blame it to someone randomly?

was it when he had lost her? it must be. it was always the thing that had been haunting him.

but then again, she was and had never been his.


End file.
